Falling in and out of love…

Something I have watched, more intently in my older age 😉 At times it feels like I’m in a relational vortex, watching people all around me tumbling into “love” or hitting the ground and realizing they’ve fallen out of it.

North America, in large part due to media (in my opinion), has turned love into this *feeling*. Please do not misunderstand, there is nothing quite like the elation of that first touch or that first kiss.


But if only all those “firsts” ended like Ariel’s; why is it that Disney centers the climax of a movie around a first kiss that symbolizes eternal love? I blame Disney for our cultures belief that love is largely an emotion. 🙂 The spark from that first touch and the passion of that first kiss…or 10 :)…fades, and then what is left? A choice. Even for those who fall into the emotion of love, that is also a choice. All too often, we chose to fall into love and find ourselves on a roller coaster that ends with the train falling off the tracks.

I choose to see love as a mix of both. There must be an emotional and physical pull to someone to fall into love, but at some point I think it becomes a dance. Both partners have chosen, regardless of momentary “emotions,” to learn to dance together for the rest of their lives; whether one partner ends up with a broken leg, or gets sick, the dance goes on. You only become better dancers with a lot of practice, making marriage – dancing with that one person till “death do you part” – something truly beautiful.


I have fallen in and out of love over the years but I am looking for someone to dance with. My good friend Leah recently found someone to dance with (inspiring this blog); have you?


11 thoughts on “Falling in and out of love…

  1. Good words, Renee, good words…Take it from one who is putting on my dancing shoes and warming up for a lifelong duet, the bliss isn’t in the dance itself, but in the journey leading up to the dance and the practices and the skinned knees and elbows…that is where the beauty lies.

  2. That’s why I hate the phrase itself: “falling in love.” Falling is a mistake. Falling means you get scraped up. Falling rarely produces anything good.

    I think your analogy of a dance is so much better. It’s a partnership, it’s beautiful and you can improvise, and you get better at it the longer you work together. That’s the kind of love I want, too.

    • You took the “crash and burn” metaphor of “falling” and expounded it well. Falling in love means that, though the “free fall” might feel great (who doesn’t wish they could fly?), you WILL eventually land and if you have not secured an effective parachute for said landing it is no wonder people so quickly “fall out of love.” 🙂

      If Leah can find it, so can we!!

      • Okay, you’re right… falling can be a good metaphor if we include some sort of safety apparatus.

        In the words of Toy Story’s Woody… let’s try “falling with style.” It might work out that we actually fly. 🙂

  3. I couldn’t agree with you more, Renee. Thanks for your thoughts and for your reminder that love is a choice (a very good one). Thanks too for all your blog entries – I enjoy reading them from time to time. God bless.

  4. And in case you hadn’t heard/seen on FB, Cindi and I have been engaged for about 2 months now… Getting married in Jan of 2011

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