The Reason for the Season

This week I came to a stop sign and waited for it to turn red.

I was probably there for a good minute before I realized that this stop sign wasn’t going to change color.

I found out this week that my Oma has cancer.

Me, Oma and my sister

Have you ever had those moments in life where everything comes crashing into one brilliant point and you’re forced to face all the things you spend most of your life trying to avoid?

That was what happened at the stop sign, and as I rolled into the intersection so did the tears.  I am not a stranger to loss, especially from my immediate and extended family, and it looked like I was going to have to face it again sooner than expected.  My Oma was the healthiest 80-something you’d ever meet; until this past fall she swam 30 minutes every morning and was spunkier than most 60-somethings I knew.

Have you ever watched Gilmore Girls?  There is an episode where Luke has a “dark day.”  Lorelai later learns that Luke disappears one day out of every year on the anniversary of his father’s death.

I have a lot of dark days, and I wasn’t ready for another…

A good friend of mine is a “runner.”  Someone who, when faced with adversity, laces up his Nike’s and hits the pavement hard to avoid dealing.  This week I saw the appeal of disappearing from reality; not having to stare something painful in the face again.  But I knew that no matter how far I ran, it would find me; so despite its appeal, I’ve spent the Christmas holidays facing the inevitable head on.  There was nothing sweeter than getting to spend lunch today at my Oma’s apartment, watching her open her gifts and seeing her smile…

Though I know this might be my last Christmas with my Oma, I also know one day she’ll be in heaven with my mom and nearly half of my extended family.  Knowing this allowed me to wipe my tears, keep driving, and see the joy in this journey.

It’s Christmas.  This all reminded that the real Reason for this Season was a baby named Jesus, and that baby is the reason I know one day we will all be together again 🙂

Probably the most important question I could ever ask: Do you know the reason for the season?


2 thoughts on “The Reason for the Season

  1. I’m so sorry, Renee. I experienced this same event with my Grandmother very recently. I’m proud of you for facing your grief and not avoiding it, and knowing that this won’t be the end is the best comfort you’ll know now. Chin up! If we can do anything…

    • Thanks Dave! I am sorry about your Grandma…it represents the marching of time; just so sad…and thanks for the encouragement 🙂 I learned at a young age grief has to be met head-on, but it doesn’t mean I like doing it, EVER.
      Will see you soon! Headed south on the 30th!

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