ExSqueeze Me???


Today I broke free; and if I didn’t know better, I’d swear I was driving through Younge St, Ontario Canada today.  The snow is EVERYWHERE.

I missed Starbucks; so I picked up my Grande Vanilla Misto in thirds and headed across the street to Walmart.  This past weekend I ate myself out of house and home.  That wasn’t too hard to do, since I don’t keep very much food here anyway; no point in cooking for one.

Apparently I wasn’t the only one.  I hadn’t seen so many shopping carts over flowing with food items at one time since Supermaker Sweep.

Except everyone today looked far less cosmopolitan and WAY more motley crew.

I had a longer list than usual, since it’s projected to snow AGAIN this weekend and I want to be prepared this time.  Veggie Lasagna (homemade) and frozen pizza, among other things, was on my grocery treasure hunt; and as I steered down the frozen food isle I found a guy and his buggy parked right in front of the door I needed into.

Sigh. If only he was that attractive…

Instead, he was a tall, skinny, 50-something black man with diamond earrings and a gold tooth.  The rest of the story went like this:

Me: “Do you mind if I squeeze past you?”

Strange Man in 50’s: “Course not.”

Me: “Thank you.”

Strange Man in 50’s: “How about I squeeze you into my pockets and take you home with me?”

Me: Silence.

I hope it stops snowing soon…

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