You’re pretty, why aren’t you married?


Valentine’s Eve.  When did we start celebrating the “eve?”

In my 31 years of living; I have yet to find a true Valentine.  By true, I mean someone I was hopelessly in love with; cause that’s what Valentines is for, right?  Spending one day out of three-hundred-and-sixty-five showering that individual with love, attention, flowers, chocolate, candy, candlelit dinner in Paris…

Something about Japanime that is so fitting...

Yeah, never had that.

What I do get a lot of, is this: “You’re pretty, and smart, and funny; why are you not married?”  In fact, it happened last night at my friends restaurant; we were BOTH asked that question.

So here’s mine:  Why do you need to be married if you’re pretty?  Why is it shocking to meet someone attractive who isn’t “hitched?”  Is there some social stereotype that all attractive people find someone in their early twenties, marry off, and reproduce more attractive people?

I could have given that guy a small seminar on why I wasn’t married the other night; but the bottom line is this: its just never worked out for me.  I have yet to meet a guy who isn’t trying to make me his PA, his trophy, his business partner, his baby-maker, his latch key; His.  I was raised to believe that relationships and marriage are a team: ours.

Anyone else out there single on V-day?  Or maybe you’re lucky to have found “the one.”

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2 thoughts on “You’re pretty, why aren’t you married?

  1. Renee,
    I agree that this man’s philosophy and worldview seem to very illogical and just down right stupid, but I also find a problem in your semantics. In order for something to be “ours” as you put it, it must be both his and hers. Cindi is “mine,” just as I am “hers.” I understand that most men do seek to establish some sense of ownership, and many times take it to an extreme level, but I also believe that in order for a successful relationship to be established and work, there *is* a sense of ownership that develops, but it is mutual. You may not want to be one of those singular things for any man, but shouldn’t you be all of them? Cindi is my confidant, my PA, my business partner, my trophy, and my best friend. Yet, I am all those things and more in the ownership sense of *hers*. Cindi’s favorite nickname that I have given her is when I call her “my Cindi Rose.” We had a conversation the first time I ever said that, she was always worried about becoming property, but she saw that ownership is mutual in a real relationship, and that I am *her* Matthew Ryan as well. Just some thoughts to chew on.

    • Matt…I wasn’t meaning to get philosophical with my post…I never really do; I save that for the papers I have to write for school 😉 But I have to disagree with your “semantics;” in that, if the ownership is mutual – as you said – than it is still “our;” we own each other. AND that mentality should not come in the dating stage; but in marriage. Notice, I’m not married; yet that is the perception some men have given me – not all! Again…this was a lighthearted post, but thanks for the “food for thought.” 🙂

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