Do you remember Valentines day as a kid in school? We had little brown paper bags that we hung on the chairs of our assigned seats; and were then given time to walk around the room and drop off Valentines cards for our classmates. I always had grade-school crushes. James Coates in 4th grade, before that was Teddy Cunliff; I had a crush on Jeff Manning for a bit too, but he was an overt wild-child and I knew my mother would never approve. In my bag of cards, there was always one for my crush. A valentine that I had carefully selected from the box, inscribed to my dream-boy, and thoughtfully signed “Love, Renee.” The grade five version of myself had little clue what “love” really was – I think the 31 year old version is only incrementally more educated – but it didn’t change the crushing disappointment when year after year she went without a Valentine from a boy.
I wasn’t a gorgeous child. For a large part of my elementary years, I had a bad perm, head gear and neck gear as well as glasses. People now might be surprised to learn that I was rather shy, slightly introverted, and calculatedly moved my way through grade school. I never did get a Valentine in elementary school and today I found myself kind of marveling at how relationships have worked out in my life. Without fail, when there is someone very interested in me, I find myself pushing away from them; often times it is with good reason (these are not the people you want to be dating…). But sometimes, they are wonderful people who I just can’t bring myself to give the chance. The irony is, if the interest is ever returned on my end, I find myself alone. My world has just never managed to collide with someone elses’…yet…:)
So my relational future remains unknown, this day of “love” is over, and I am left thinking that this is a day that should be reserved to love everyone in your life! I spent the day with a handful of those people. How did you spend it?