The wandering eye
My Prince Charming post spawned a discussion on Facebook with a guy who had read it (I am not using names here, but I hope I don’t offend for bringing the ideas into this blog!). I made the comment that my dad has always been a one-woman man, and how rare that seems to be these days. More often then not, I see guys who have a beautiful girl on their arm while gazing at another beautiful girl passing by.
I called this “the wandering eye.” Having made it to (almost) 32 without marrying, or a long-term relationship since my early twenties, I have had the chance to observe all the lucky (or very unlucky) people in relationships around me; something I’ve done with an element of skill since completing a Master’s in Communication. To me, there is a world of difference between “noticing” beauty (let’s be honest here, Angelina Jolie is GORGEOUS), and the “wandering eye.” This individual made the statement, “regularly notice beautiful women, and these men are faithful & in good, committed, trustful love relationships.”
It got me thinking…and I realized it’s not the look but the way a guy looks at a beautiful woman. My father can openly acknowledge gorgeous women on TV (Catherine Zeta-Jones has been a long time favorite), but not for one second do I think his acknowledgment has gone beyond a mere acknowledgment in his mind. A wandering eye, to me, is a guy who is looking at another woman with something more than aesthetic appreciation in mind; even as I write that, I realize that’s abstract. It’s hard to define in type, but I believe you can be unfaithful in your “look.” I never saw that with my father. He literally could not understand how men cheat on their wives/girlfriends.
I’ve actually had very open discussions with guys who have expressed the difficulty of being with just one woman, and remaining faithful to her not just in action but in thought. That seems to be more common than men like my father but maybe I’m way off base here and there are more men out there like my dad than I think? I really hope so…