Bring me to Life
The last few months, most especially since October, I have spent in a haze. What I hadn’t known is the apartment I was living in was keeping me under the weather. Auto-immune issues were becoming part of discussions in doctors offices and I became increasingly lethargic and less interested in what was going on around me…almost including music.
Yet, I would make my way down to Jimmy’s, and someone would always encourage me to make my way to the piano and find my voice and place on the keys in a familiar song. There were days my voice was barely there, other days where it felt like I was returning to normal but regardless of how my voice was cooperating being behind the microphone always lifted my spirits.
There was one particular night that I had forgotten what “normal” felt like, was worn from exhaustion and concerned about my health. Went to Jimmy’s to get out of the house and out of my own head. I stood talking to the employees and was asked to sing. I was on my fourth round of antibiotics due to my fourth bout of strep and my throat was fairly raw so I politely declined. The bartender, Bobby, pulled me aside and kindly reminded me that singing might lift my spirits. Even if I didn’t sing as well as I knew I could, he told me that it might help bring me back to life. Reluctantly, I made my way to the piano. As the notes fell onto the keys and my voice, raw and weak, sang through lyrics I knew well, I could feel the energy in the room from the people listening. There was something powerful and invigorating about the transference, and as I continued singing I felt the weight of the previous months and weeks lifting from my shoulders.
Singing became my escape. Anytime I felt the weight of my world resting heavily on me, I would head down to the restaurant, hide behind the keys and disappear into song. Music brought me back to life in a way – obviously moving out of my apartment that had mold, lead and probably loads of other toxins, as well as supplementing my immune system and relaxing the expectations on my life, helped but it was singing that allowed me to feel alive.
Even as return to the life giving source that has upheld me through many of my life’s trials, I think the Lord used music to remind me that even though He felt millions of miles away, He was still here and even though I didn’t have the energy to find Him, He always found me.