I have spent quite a bit of time “processing” life, as a few individuals in my life like to call it. I have always said there is less of a reason to go through things yourself when you can watch others go through them and learn from their decisions. My mother taught me that when I was a small girl, and it’s something that took me until my adult years to actually put into practice.
Lately, I’ve been processing more about relationships than anything else. What spurred this blog was the guy that stopped me outside my apartments this morning. He’s in town from Richmond, working for a local restaurant, and was incredibly inquisitive but incredibly friendly. He asked if I was single, and then offered to buy me a glass of wine if I came down to his restaurant. The conversation lasted long enough that he learned what I did, and where I was from but as he held the door for me I found myself wondering about his “real” life. I use the classic bunny ears because what people present to you is not always how things really are.
I am very much a “what you see is what you get” which means I’m not usually looking for the other side of the coin. in other people. I have started to and I started to wonder whether this guy had a significant other in his Sun-Wednesday life in Richmond. Then I stopped myself. I still want to think that there are nice guys out there; that he was just a nice guy, living in my building, reaching out to a neighbor. That thinking has always got me in trouble though. If you read this and think I have a jaded past, you are right. All but one of the men I’ve dated has sustained the duration of the relationship without cheating; those aren’t good odds. So my default now is to assume that is inevitable and I have lost sight of “the one,” a “soul mate,” or a happily ever after.
While I have no interest beyond a friendly conversation with this Richmond neighbor, it did make me wonder how we are supposed to decipher those who are genuine from those who are not? I suppose it is like my step-mom said, you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince.
I think I’m going to take a break from the frogs for now.